Just Relax...

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear "we're taking a Hypnobirthing class"? Probably picturing people sitting in a circle with incense floating in the air and someone chanting meditations at you. That's pretty much what I thought when I first heard about Hypnobirthing through bebo mia when I first started working with them. Still relatively new to this whole world, I was on a bit of overload. Doulas and homebirths were one thing. Hypnobirthing and placenta encapsulation were a whole different story.

Until I sat in on a class.

As part of my intro to bebo mia over a year ago, I was invited to sit in on the first class of a Hypnobirthing series so I could have an idea of what went on and would be able to explain it from experience. That one class completely changed my mind about what Hypnobirthing really was, and how helpful it could be to achieving a calm birth experience. The class description does a really good job of introducing what Hypnobirthing is, but it's also so much more. I just love the very first sentence of the description:

"HypnoBirthing® is a birth education program that teaches you to replace fear and tension with   confidence and relaxation."

Sounds good, right? Who wouldn't want that! How could it be that easy without everyone doing it? I think it's simply that people either don't have the resources to hear about it, or the name totally turns them off (guilty!). I really wish they would have picked a different name.

So, I'm not a big textbook reader in general, but I really got a lot out of reading the Hypnobirthing book that came with the course. Combined with discussions in class, there were a few things in particular that really stood out. Things like:
 
When you are presented with a stressful situation, your body is programmed to go into Fight or Flight mode. In the case of labour, Fight isn't really an option, unless you punch your husband, which might make you feel better for about 3 seconds. Flight also isn't really an option since you can't escape your own body. But when your body goes into a sort of "flight'' mode, all of your energy (including blood and oxygen) spreads to your extremities (arms, legs), in order to help your body get away. We heard a story about about a woman who had such a traumatic labour and was so completely terrified that when she ended up in a C-section, her uterus had turned completely white since all her blood had gone to other areas of her body. YIKES. So what happens when you can't fight or flight in labour? You freeze. When you freeze, your body essentially shuts down, you tense and tighten...meaning that every muscle that should be relaxed to allow for a natural birth has closed up and baby can't get anywhere. All of a sudden, your labour slows or stalls, baby is distressed, and boom: surgery. No fun.

Somewhere along the way in our history and culture, birth became something negative or something to be feared. This explains why there used to be (and still are) women who stop their walk through a field, lean against a tree, birth their baby, and go on their way. There's a fantastic story in the book about Dr. Dick-Read (a central influence in Hypnobirthing) and how a birth in 1913 changed his entire mindset about childbirth. He had gone to assist a poor woman living in the slums of London with her birth. This was when they would use chloroform to knock you out and deliver the baby while you slept. When he tried giving her the chloroform, she refused and kept breathing deeply. She birthed her baby with a few deep breaths, calmly and silently. The doctor asked why she had refused pain relief and she shocked him by saying "It didn't hurt. It wasn't supposed to, was it Doctor?". Whaaaaat?! This prompted his assumption that the absence of fear during birth also meant the absence of fear, and after years of research, he called his theory the "Fear-Tension-Pain Syndrome". Meaning that it's as simple as that. If there's fear, there will be bodily tension which physiologically causes pain. Without fear, there may be discomfort, pressure, etc. but no pain.

Why can we trust our bodies to know how to conceive a baby, how to grow a baby during pregnancy, but quickly doubt our bodies ability to birth the baby? (We talked about this a lot in my prenatal yoga class). 

Anyways, this is getting long winded and I've probably somewhat made my point. I'm sure Hypnobirthing in it's entirety isn't going to be for everyone. But at it's essence, learning how to tune out fear and draw on relaxation techniques during birthing is something anyone could benefit from. I'm off to listen to the relaxation CD and very very likely fall asleep...

Week 38

My due date is next week. NEXT WEEK. Whaaaaaat!!! I'm excited, nervous, overjoyed and terrified. Mix that up with a bit more discomfort and you've got a COUNTDOWN until baby arrives!

How far along: 38 weeks - so close!
Total weight gain: a solid 30. 
Maternity clothes: well check me out this week: jeans and a non-maternity t-shirt! 
Stretch marks: none!
Sleep: more uncomfortable, more wakeups, more bathroom breaks, more hip pain :(
Best moment this week: a relaxing weekend to ourselves...probably the last one just the two of us!
Miss anything? flopping down on my stomach and my joints not feeling like an 85 year old
Movement: almost seems like more this week! lots of poking around even though our midwife says baby's head is fully engaged
Food cravings: trying to curb my bad habits before baby comes out and I have to get tough on eating healthier!
Anything make you queasy or sick: nope, but definitely feeling crampier this week
Gender: can't wait to find out!
Labour signs: more cramps sporadically throughout the day
Symptoms: sore joints, sore tailbone
Belly button in or out: victory! still an innie!
Wedding rings on or off: on
Happy or moody: happy but getting more anxious
Looking forward to: Easter weekend with the fam and lots of yummy food!

Week 37

We made it! Though I've always felt that I will probably go past my "due date", it was still a relief to have hit the FULL TERM point and know that this little pea should be almost done baking and nice and healthy when he/she comes to join us!

How far along: 37 weeks - full term!
Total weight gain: I think we could technically say 27 but let's call it what it is and say that little pea has brought on about an extra 30.
Maternity clothes: leggings, leggings, leggings
Stretch marks: none!
Sleep: mostly good, still lots of wakeups to shift position
Best moment this week: picking up the new car, more maternity photos!
Miss anything? being able to spend time in the car without feeling like my body has been twisted into a pretzel
Movement: still lots of stretching!
Food cravings: nothing specific, though I did tell Eric that we might have to make a trip to Mandarin at some point before this baby comes out because I've been thinking about Chinese food since Calgary...
Anything make you queasy or sick: St. Patty's day alcohol was definitely not missed by me!
Gender: can't wait to find out!
Labour signs: starting to feel a bit achy and crampy on and off but nothing serious
Symptoms: sore overall! trying for lots of time in the pool with sore back and stiff joints.
Belly button in or out: still in!
Wedding rings on or off: on
Happy or moody: very happy :) Eric has been saying the sweetest things now that we're nearing the end of what has very fortunately been an enjoyable pregnancy. I'll miss it!
Looking forward to: friends coming for a sleepover this weekend! and our midwife home visit later this week...it's getting real! 

Week 36

Week 36 was possibly one of the busiest weeks all pregnancy...hence why this post is so late. Starting to feel like I'm really in the home stretch!

How far along: 36 weeks
Total weight gain: yipes. a good solid 25
Maternity clothes: leggings are a daily staple, jeans are starting to fall to the back of the closet
Stretch marks: none!
Sleep: starting to toss and turn a bit more (where "toss and turn" means a totally non-graceful and large-scale production roll over in the middle of the night).
Best moment this week: an eventful family brunch with an engagement announcement, my bestie's visit to the city and deciding on our NEW CAR!
Miss anything? flopping down on my stomach, a non-sore back
Movement: still lots! mostly stretching with little feet bulging out of my side
Food cravings: nothing in particular
Anything make you queasy or sick: staying away from spicy because of heartburn
Gender: can't wait to find out!
Labour signs: none
Symptoms: way more back pain than before, that nagging tailbone, some round ligament pain especially in the morning
Belly button in or out: shallow but technically in
Wedding rings on or off: on
Happy or moody: tired after an exhausting week, but still in a good mood!
Looking forward to: seeing our maternity photos, picking up the new car, spending time at home on the weekend, hitting the 37 week mark - full term, here I come!

Ready or Not Part 2

After writing my post about just how prepared we are, I thought it would be appropriate to share how exactly we got to this point. Though we're still anxiously awaiting our maternity photos, here are a few from our post-photo shoot self pics, along with a few from my birthday!

To begin at the beginning, the story of little pea goes back to Christmas 2010. While lying on the couch together, we started have a more serious discussion about our future and when we would want to seriously consider adding a baby to the mix. We shared our feelings with each other about what our visions were for the next few years, and decided that after another full year of being just us, we would be ready to think about babies in 2012.

My birthday morning surprise!

Enter January 2012 and we both felt the same way. Me with a bit of a stricter timeline, considering I did NOT want to conceive in January with our trip to Thailand in February and being maid of honour in my cousin's wedding that September. 9 month pregnant bellies and bridesmaid dresses don't mesh well. Knowing that the average couple takes about 6 months to conceive, my idealistic hope was that we would follow this same path and be on track for a spring baby. More in the forefront of my mind was being realistic about the fact that we could very easily be looking into fertility treatments come January 2013, given family history.

July 2012 rolls around, bringing the opportunity to join bebo mia's Fertility Yoga program. It was difficult hearing the struggles of the other women in the class, knowing that I had yet to experience these challenges and trials, but that this very well might be what's to come for us. I still can't believe it was only 3 days after our final class that I made that trip to the clinic and heard the very casually delivered news of "Oh, well your test came back positive, so you're pregnant." Unreal.

Being involved with bebo mia had exposed me to so much information about pregnancy and parenting, and the resources I had at my fingertips were extensive, and overwhelming. Not to mention the fact that we were on a mad search for a midwife before leaving for Calgary! Though we were still discussing the idea of a home birth, Eric was fully on board to go with a midwife, knowing that their services are covered, and it would simply mean a more personal experience for appointments and knowing for sure who will be there on the big day. Kensington Midwives has been incredible so far, from my midwives themselves to the feel of the office and always being greeted warmly by reception. The fact that they book appointments weeks in advance doesn't hurt for a crazy planner like me too!

Cake time!

But onto what this was really supposed to be about: our classes!!! We have been through the gamut of classes offered by bebo mia, and have taken something different from each one. I was so excited to get into the classes and spend some time with Eric while getting the information we need to make informed choices for our labour, birth experience and for our baby.

The first step was choosing our doulas, which I've posted about already. We feel really comfortable with our doulas and had a really great initial meeting with them, going over concerns about a home birth and what their support would look like. I have to admit that we have wavered a bit on whether or not we really need to have another support person present, but I know that there will be no doubt after the birth that we made the right choice and will definitely appreciate having our doula there.

Our first class was the Childbirth Ed Crash Course. Bianca was fabulous as our instructor and after witnessing over 100 births, definitely knows her stuff! I believe we took this class before watching The Business of Being Born, so this was the first time I'd really been educated on the effects of interventions. Even knowing that we wanted a more natural birth experience, I really appreciated how things were presented in a very factual and non-biased way, simply stating the different options and the pros and cons of each. While discussing the stages of labour, it became pretty clear how important our doula's role would be, and I think both of us, especially Eric, will be glad to have her there when things get a bit crazy! Oh, and this was the class where we found out that circumcision (which we'd been discussing and debating and researching already) costs about $400. No idea. And another piece of information to add to the decision-making process.

Next was our Baby Care class, cleverly titled "Is Poop Supposed to be That Colour?". I've spent my fair share of time with babies, but not as much around newborns, so there were definitely things I still needed to know. I'm pretty much good with everything but the cord stump. That grosses me out. This black, rotting lump of ick, just hanging on my baby's cute little belly button? Let's hope it doesn't last long. We talked a lot about babywearing in this class too, so it got me really excited about tucking baby into a snug little wrap one day soon!

Baby's favourite: MELON!

The class I was most intrigued with was bebo mia's new Sleep Class. I'd read a little bit about the different sleep "methods", from the benefits of co-sleeping (which is not the same as bed-sharing!!) to the ever popular "Cry It Out". I had an idea of how we would approach sleep, keeping an open mind since sometimes everything changes once baby arrives. The class was from an Attachment Parenting standpoint, given that Brandie, our Sleep Expert, is trained through Dr. Sears and in the process of accreditation with Attachment Parenting International. She went into detail on the science behind infant sleep and crying and the short and long term effects all types of "sleep training" can have on babies. It was super informative and she was able to discuss all sides of sleep while respectfully maintaining her personal standpoint. Loved it!

Last but not least, the Breastfeeding Class! I had heard so much about Taya, our Lactation Consultant (with a background as a homeopathic practitioner and training directly under Jack Newman), but had yet to meet her until this class! Let me just say...Taya knows her stuff. Her passion for helping families in their breastfeeding careers is obvious in the way she speaks and presents each topic. I knew I wanted to breastfeed. After this class, I knew I would be willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how difficult it may be, to make sure I can do this for myself and baby. I understand that sometimes there are special circumstances, but after hearing from Taya, there is rarely a situation where breastfeeding would be impossible. Difficult, challenging, uncomfortable and frustrating? Sure. Which is why it's up to mom to decide how important breastfeeding is and how far you'll go to achieve it. (I'm half writing this with such conviction so I can look back at it if things don't go well and I'm seconds away from throwing in the towel!) So, go me! You can do it! Let's keep trying! Breastfeeding all the way!

I think my heart is a puddle on the floor... I'll miss this.

I'll have to use a separate post for our Hypnobirthing series. It'll be interesting to see how much shorter my posts get once baby is here! But I really wanted to share our experience with all our classes, and would obviously recommend any of them. I may be a bit biased when it comes to bebo mia, but if I had one piece of advice for anyone expecting a baby, it would simply be to get educated. Whether that's through all your own research, joining a mom's-to-be group or fitness class, or getting signed up for any prenatal education class, just be informed because there are SO many choices and decisions and opposing points of view out there, and all it takes is being educated to make the choices that work best for you. I forget which instructor it was, but someone really said it best. How many hours of research go into making a big purchase, like home appliances, electronics, a new car? How many tours would you take before buying a house? Now, take the magnitude of those decisions and multiply them by one little baby who will quickly become the most important person in your life. This is where I can justify probably seeming a bit opinionated at times, after the hours and hours of research I've done and classes we've taken. I know things could be turned completely upside down once baby is here, but at least I've done everything possible to be informed and prepared to make the transition (hopefully!) as easy as possible! Hence why that "ready or not" question can honestly be answered with a YES, and WE CAN'T WAIT!

Week 35

Today marks one month until baby's due date!!! I can't stand not knowing when the big day will be...if baby will be early, late, or right on time. I just hope little pea comes on his/her own time, exactly when they're ready. At my midwife appointment, we found out that pea's head is waaay down, hopefully there to stay! Seem like he/she is comfy where they are and I may not get too much bigger. Apparently I'm quite accommodating to a head on my bladder and a bum or legs or something crowding my lungs. For now, I'll have to soak up every last one of these swift kicks to the ribs. 1 month to go!

How far along: 35 weeks
Total weight gain: creeping slightly past the 20 mark
Maternity clothes: I'm starting to think there's not much wrong with the old school maternity "outfits" that were more like tents...wearing a tent right about now would probably be pretty comfy
Stretch marks: none!
Sleep: mostly good, waking up to pee is now a state of desperation....feels like I'm sleeping so well that I wake up at the last minute almost in pain!
Best moment this week: my birthday, complete with breakfast and lunch with my man and dinner with my family!
Miss anything? deep breaths, staying away from junk food :(
Movement: not quite as many hiccup sessions but still lots of squirming and kicking!
Food cravings: everything I shouldn't be eating, but sometimes cave as a last hurrah before post-baby healthy eating kicks in
Anything make you queasy or sick: spicy gives me heartburn!
Gender: can't wait to find out!
Labour signs: none
Symptoms: tailbone painnnnnn, heartburn after some foods, lower back a bit more sore than before
Belly button in or out: barely in and looking really weird...
Wedding rings on or off: on
Happy or moody: getting excited to meet little pea!
Looking forward to: continuing with Hypnobirthing, hopefully making time for more swims this week...we went on the weekend and being in the water felt awesome! 

Ready or Not?

I think I've been lucky to have stayed away from a lot of the crazy questions and comments that can come up around pregnant women... Like these: http://skinnymom.com/2012/08/25/what-not-to-say-to-a-pregnant-woman/

The biggest thing we hear now is the big question: ARE YOU READY?

Our short answer?

Yup.

After the hours of classes, reading, research and discussing, we're as ready as we'll ever be. Or, maybe "ready" isn't the right word. I'm not sure if anyone is ever really ready for the change a baby will bring. We are prepared. Prepared for things to go perfectly, or not go our way. Expect the unexpected, go with the flow, and just hope for a healthy baby.

There are still things to buy (crib sheets, more diapers), to prepare (home birth supplies), to CLEAN (hello nesting!)... but overall I feel content with where we are now and feel like we're ready for this baby to come out and play with us! Or scream through the night...