In Limbo

Well, the three of us are currently living in a bit of limbo as we're out of our home in Toronto for the fall, but still have a week before we fly to Calgary. It's nice to have some time off, especially before a big family wedding this weekend, but it was getting a bit chaotic in the last weeks before we left the city. I promised more info on bebo mia and our doulas, so here goes...

I've been working with bebo mia for almost a year now. Last fall, I was still in the thick of job searching and was totally enveloped in the world of baby blogs. I still to this day can't remember how I actually came across their website, but all of a sudden I found myself pouring over this adorable orange, blue and green site, reading about women who seemed to LOVE what they do and services from fertility yoga to birth doulas, postpartum meal delivery to breastfeeding support, and so much more. It was like a teeny lightbulb went off as I said to myself, "THIS is a place where I'd love to work". Having had little to no direction in my job search at that point, I tried to stay cautiously optimistic as I planned to call them the next day to see if there was any way I could get myself involved.

I called the next day and ended up in a conversation with one of the founding partners. I awkwardly tried to explain that yes, I really did just come across their website and thought it looked like such an amazing place to work and did they have anything available for someone with my experience and skills. That conversation took turn after turn for the better as I was told how much it meant for me to feel so strongly about being a part of bebo mia simply from the website, and that this might just be a perfect fit and they could try to find a place for me. Now, almost a year later, I have tried my hand at business development, marketing, editing print and web content and am now starting a new direction with social media. Not to say that there haven't been ups and downs in trying to define my very unstructured role, but I so admire the principles and passion behind this company and still feel honoured to be a small part of it.

Being a part of bebo mia sent me full force into information overload on everything to do with fertility, pregnancy and parenting. I've already learned so much more than I thought I knew before. And one of the most important things has been that common question of, "what is a doula, really?". There are still many ways of describing a doula, since their role is very multidimensional, but the most concise way I tend to explain it is that a doula is a woman who supports a birthing mother, or acts as a birth coach. A midwife is there to tend to the medical needs of the mother and primarily the newborn baby, while a doula is there to provide support to the mother in all other areas. I have heard SO many empowering stories about how much influence doulas have had on positive birth experiences and so as soon as this pregnancy became a reality, there was no hesitation: we needed a doula!

I had told the partners (and my supervisors) at bebo mia about my news about a week after finding out. I knew that, especially with Calgary, I would have a ton of questions and needed their support. Plus, I wanted to sneak in there that the fertility program worked! Having officially confirmed our plans for Calgary, I needed to tell them about that anyway, so we arranged a call to go over our new marketing direction and new-ish role for me, and I said I had some things to discuss as well. We went over business first, and I subtly brought up the fact that I would be able to do everything I needed to do online....which was good because...surprise! We're going to Calgary for 3 months! They were excited about that news, and my stomach was full of butterflies as I brought up part two, that that's not all....that I just wanted to let them know....that the fertility yoga program works REALLY well. Cue SCREAMS. I was laughing so hard holding the phone away from my ear as they screamed and congratulated me. It was so fun hearing their excitement and it definitely boosted my own excitement too. Then I launched into my zillion questions and got some good direction on what needed to be done, which midwifery clinics they recommended, etc. etc.

Back to our doulas. After I'd spilled the beans, my next step was emailing the director of our pregnancy department to set up a consultation with potential doulas. I did know some members of the team, but wanted to be a bit more neutral and just ask for their suggestions on who would be a good fit. Our potential team of two came to our condo for our first meeting/consultation, and immediately I felt super comfortable with both of them. We spoke a bit about Calgary and then started getting into the matter at hand...the little thing called our baby's birth plan. We have decided to plan for a home birth, and of course had tons of questions. Both doulas were SO great at giving us answers, and keeping us in a positive mindset. We would ask all the "what if's" and questions about things going wrong, risks, emergency situations, etc. and they didn't dismiss our concerns, but carefully and confidently answered our questions. Then after their answers, they would always end with "but, you don't need to worry about that, because it's not going to happen!" They were so reassuring and informative and I know we both got a lot out of our meeting. Eric said he felt so much better about everything after the meeting, and as much as I thought I knew most of what we talked about, I felt much better too. I know there will be many more detailed discussions about the actual birth as we go along, but for a first chat, this went great. We love our doulas!!