Six.

I'm currently scarfing down a bowl of homemade guacamole. If anyone asks, yes, I'm "craving" it. Oh, and yes, my breasts are incredibly sore, thanks for asking! No, I haven't thrown up my breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and I may be having a moment with my guacamole, but so far, no pickles and ice cream. Although, to my shock and dismay I haven't been reaching for the chocolate as much as usual...

What on earth is up with this girl, you're asking yourself. Is this some sort of really lame, TMI food blog? Well, here's the news only six other people know:

I'm pregnant.

 

Did I just write that? And it's true? How long is it going to take for this to sink in, because it definitely hasn't yet. No, it wasn't a surprise and yes, this was planned and hoped for, but I'm not sure if you're ever really prepared for it to be REAL! 

So it's the Friday before the August long weekend, and we have plans to go home (to my hometown) to spend time with family. I had just finished a six week fertility yoga program through bebo mia, an amazing fertility, pregnancy, parenting company I work with, so I had fertility on the brain. Having family history of fertility issues and my own history with a bit of PCOS, I decided there was no time like the present, and maybe I should go get some bloodwork done again to see where things were. Being at the "end" of my never regular cycle, the Friday before the long weekend was as good a time as any, right? Plus I'd been crampy for over a week with what felt like ovarian pain, so let's just go check this all out, shall we?

Check it out indeed. As I walked to the clinic with my husband, who was on his way to work, he kept saying, "I bet you're pregnant." Not wanting to get either of our hopes up, I said honestly, "I seriously doubt it. My body would know." Well. 

Never before have I peed in a cup before seeing a doctor. Or felt nervous while waiting. Or was unable to be distracted even by the moaning of the person with food poisoning in the room across the hall from me...gross. Finally, my doctor came in, and we started chatting about ovarian pain, when, where, what does it feel like, and a few minutes in she asks, "Well, is there any chance you're pregnant?" Yes, there is a chance. Two clicks of her computer later, without skipping a beat, without dramatic music or a long meaningful look she says, "Oh, well your test came back positive so you're pregnant." I beg your pardon. I'm pretty sure I just sat there. What did she just say? It must be wrong. I'm going to be one of those extremely rare false positives. There's no way this is true. Of course, all this is going through my mind as she's rattling off her list of no alcohol, no raw meat, etc. while my brain is still trying to catch up. It wasn't until she had my lie down and started poking around my belly that I finally asked, "ARE YOU SURE?" She assured me the test was very accurate, a follow up blood test would be done, and we'd meet next week to discuss a referral to an OB. What on earth is happening. I came in to find out that I was likely dealing with a potentially infertile situation and now you're talking about OB's?? Bring on the bloodwork, let's verify this thing! The nurse who did my bloodwork gave me a huge smile and a congratulations as I shakily told her that I was pretty much in shock. As I walked home after booking my follow up appointment, I think I looked at my bloodwork bandaid about 14 times just to make sure this was really happening. I marched straight into our grocery store, one pregnancy test, self checkout, and booked it home. The second I closed the door behind me, tears came to my eyes. This would really make it real. A second opinion and life changing answer in the form of a little blue stick I had to pee on it. Pee on it I did. I couldn't even wait the required 2-3 minutes before flipping it over. When I saw "Pregnant", the tears came for real. This was REAL. I was pregnant. 

 

It was absolute TORTURE to wait all day for Eric to get home. Of course he'd been texting me all day telling me there was hardly anyone in the office, everyone had left for the long weekend, people were leaving at noon, etc. And what was I doing? Besides going out of my mind, absolutely quivering with excitement and anticipation, I was going out to buy a pair of tiny baby shoes, an idea I've had for years on how I would tell my husband I was pregnant. I set up the gift bag, set up the camera and waited. And waited. And watched a Disney movie to distract me. 

Finally, I got the usual "leaving" text, and knew it was almost time. He had about 4 seconds after walking in the door before I had him sitting on the couch. I said I wanted to take a picture of us, and that I had already had the camera set up before for "some idea I saw on Pinterest". My wonderfully gullible husband, didn't suspect a thing! Until I dropped the gift bag in his lap. I'm so glad I got his reaction on tape! Disbelief, but so happy. 

That night, knowing there was no way we'd be able to keep it to ourselves, we told my parents by showing them the photo of Eric with the shoes. Excited doesn't quite justify the feeling in the room that night! The next morning, I asked my brother if he'd like to go out for an uncle burger (for breakfast) to which he of course replied, no. Asking again if he wanted an UNCLE burger, it was hilarious to see the exact moment it registered and Uncle Rob was pretty excited too. What a weekend! 

So there we have it. The first of many posts in this blog that I hope will become a document of this journey, a way to remember everything that happened during this wonderful time. I hope I'm up for the challenge!

Oh, and the six. I made it back to my regular Pilates class this week, and told my instructor. When I went to the dentist, my hygienist became number five. My mom, dad and brother brings the total to five, and my amazing husband and daddy-to-be was the first one to know about our little secret. And before that, it was just me. Me and our little pea.